So, I see these types of posts around this time of year usually. This year is different though. 2020 has challenged all of us more so than previous years have. From covid to the election this year has really taken us all to our wit’s end. For me I think it has been good for me though. I honestly don’t think I would have learned these lessons if not for the events that took place this year.

• Sometimes hard work doesn’t equal success and that is ok.

This one can be kind of subjective and interested differently based on what one’s idea of success is but take it how you will. I was so hard on myself after graduating because I did not achieve what I thought of as success, a good job and being independent in my own place with friends. I thought that not achieving these things was a reflection of my lack of ability or intelligence. By seeing so many stories on social media of other graduates both pre and during covid who also did not yet achieve those things I felt less alone.

My therapist also helped me learn that even if you get what you want or even think you need it won’t solve all of your problems. You need to be able to be strong without the goal you are working towards. If not you will attach yourself to it too much. Do I still want to work towards being more independent and having a good career? Of course, but it will happen when it should happen.

• Your mental health is more important than any grade, promotion, or relationship.

There have been many times in my past when I put work and school ahead of my well being. I felt that the situation was not making happy so if I could just plug through then everything would be ok. Long story short, that didn’t really have good results for me and how I felt. If I am being honest I don’t know how I will handle balancing self care with something as time consuming as graduate school or a full time job in addition to my side hustles like this blog, my YouTube channel and sponsored posts on Instagram. I will try to just focus on what I am dealing with in the moment and handle it when the time comes.

• Growth is not always linear but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work towards it.

Being alone and yourself with no one is better than pretending to be someone your not around lots of people.

I used to fear being alone so much. I would go into the dining hall in college frantically looking for a friend to sit with because I didn’t want it to look like I did not have friends. During this time, I have essentially been forced to spend time by myself and I found that I honestly really enjoy it. I like being with people but watching anime with a cup of tea in cozy clothes is such a soothing experience as well. It was like I slowly approached what looked lik a huge monster but it was really a cute little bunny that I now love cuddling. It was not so scary once I actually did it.

• Accepting yourself often takes a while but it’s still worth putting effort into.

I honestly don’t think that I would have learned to embrace so many things I have been interested in for years. I realized that the version of myself that I have presented to the world has not been the real version of myself. I thought that if I showed the real version of myself to the world that no one would want to be around me or be my friend. Even though I have met some lovely people online who proved that idea wrong, I do go back into that mindset of thinking I have to hide who I am to keep friends or a job. Fighting against what I am used to thinking is not always easy but I do think it is worth it because of the good moments I have had where I am myself.

So while I could list more things these are the main lessons I learned this year. They were not easy to learn but worth it. Tell me , what you learned in the comments below if you would like.